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-- about portfolio blog writing voice about portfolio blog writing voice tuscany, 2018 he swam at sunset and at midnight, played us songs, finished two paintings, rode horses and cooked lunches and i sat by the pool with the dogs and my 5 books because someone has to be the lesser cool sibling so it might as well be me. it's weird to love something with all that you are but it's also, you know, precious. and tender. and worth ten years of fighting so vicious i thought we'd not survive. but we did, and now we get a sunset, hey. august 25, 2018 bue nights “during the blue nights you think the end of day will never come. as the blue nights draw to a close (and they will, and they do) you experience an actual chill, an apprehension of illness, at the moment you first notice: the blue light is going, the days are already shortening, the summer is gone...blue nights are the opposite of the dying of the brightness, but they are also its warning.” - joan didion august 18, 2018 fingers in cheese, feet in water on the second sunday of the month i wake up early to have breakfast in the garden. in the sweltering heat, on a flimsy burning chair, as i listen to the neighbors' kids play on the other side of the fence and laugh easily as they throw water from their makeshift pool directly onto my feet. i wear my best french-woman-going-to-the-market-to-buy-bread-and-olives-and-flowers outfit and make my way to my favorite spot in the city. i walk behind two dads pushing a pram and my heart does a little jump because london pride was just yesterday and i will not apologize for being an emotional aquarius baby. i get my usual order at the creperie stand and pick flowers to press and send to my grandmother in my next letter. i dip my fingers in cheese and my feet in water, and tell myself it's okay if my breath still catches from time to time. i have been good for a while now. which is not to mean i haven't had bad days, but i have been doing good. day after day, for more days than i could have hoped for less than a year ago. with that in mind, i walk slowly, with no real purpose. i try so desperately to commit these moments to memory, as i've been doing ever since i realized things had shifted -i have rarely put as much energy into anything as i did trying to crystallize perfect solitary mornings spent on santa monica beach into souvenirs for my heart. timestamps of a tide turning burned to my eyelids, a resolution. like my high school teacher once (really, actually ) said, "anna, if you put half the energy you dedicate to your own personal drama into studying, you'd be top of your class". i mean, she was an asshole but she wasn't wrong. thing is, i believe there's power in paying attention to small victories and slow days and big moments because everything else just --goes so fast. i forget birthdays and cancel plans as weeks and months blur one into the other, i forget to water the plants and do laundry and come home at a reasonable hour and to remember to breathe. i answer too many emails and listen to too many podcasts on my way to and back from work, i take too many calls during lunch hour and never answer my texts or drink enough water and never ever go to the gym when i said i would, i spill sauce on white clothes and stay up late investigating conspiracy theories and i am terrible, terrible at taking care of myself. but i want to. so when i stick to the only routine i know is good for me, when i cancel out the noise and the messy and the complicated and just focus on here, now, still and silent, i am taking care of myself. when i press play on storms by fleetwood mac for the sixth time in a row just to hear the last minute one more time , when i get my skirt wet by jumping into the pond a little too hastily, when i spend five minutes watching a ladybug walk from one of my rings to the other and back, i am doing exactly what my heart needs. i've been scared shitless of change and questions i want answers to but do not have the energy to start asking myself. i've been scared to write, ever since i turned my back on so much of what made up my identity. i've been slipping and slipping and wondering if this is how it starts or if i'll only notice when it's too late. i’ve been restless and hard on myself and i’ve been wasting time waiting for something more, always something better. always waiting for whatever comes next when the pieces align themselves and you’re not breathing underwater for the first time in years but still expecting something to drown you. so i walk slowly, commit, commit, commit. i tell myself perfect moments are worth celebrating more than a perfect life ever might be, and i breathe out my fear with every shaky breath. i crystallize every moment, just as it is. timestamps of a tide turning burned to my eyelids, a resolution. creative writing july 21, 2018 hampstead , mental health , rebuild you get what you need mom visited for the weekend and she feng-shui’d my room and moved my mick jagger vinyl ‘cause it sat where the divinity and spirituality spot is in relation to the cardinal points and she wouldn’t hear me out when i said that worked quite well because jagger is, in fact, my god. i told her the story of good ol' swifty in 2012 and we laughed and we laughed and we couldn’t stop laughing when we realized what it meant now in retrospect because, life is funny. sometimes it takes a few years for it to sink in, for it to spin the right way, for it to stare at you right in the face -but it always does. and it sure does so better when you’re not working against it like i have been my whole life, so. that’s where i'm at. sat on a new pink stool mom put in the ‘dreams, ambitions and opportunities’ chakra-spot-corner, not really trying to get anywhere but letting it get to me. me and my eyeliner-wearing, lipstick-sporting, songs-that-make-my-heart-go-kaboom-writing divinity, obviously. * i also loved this from chani nicholas' weekly horoscopes very, very, very much: i relax knowing that all i need to do is show up in this moment as myself. for myself. in service of what needs me. this is the place i plan my days from. this is the place i run my life from. this is the place that i return to. i am enough. i am everything that this moment needs. i am discovering who i am one situation at a time. i am not a mystery solved, i am a mystery revealing itself. anytime i find myself struggling to get it right, figure it out, or fix myself to fit in, i remember that isn’t the point. the sharp edge of life’s sword is always asking me to cut through the self-doubt that inhibits me from doing what i can, when i can, as often as i can. might just hang it up on my wall. right next to mick. april 28, 2018 fight for the rebuild "fight for the rebuild", a friend told me a while ago. "you've got to fight for the life you want," she said. "it's worth every ounce of struggle." back then, i had no idea what that rebuild would look like. six months ago today, i boarded a plane at lax and landed in london tired to the bone but wide-eyed and weirdly excited about starting over, about building something back up from scratch. i didn’t know what the life i wanted looked like, which made the whole affair harder than it maybe needed to be, but. i’d just discovered what i didn’t want it to look like, and that had to count for something, right? it was raining because of course it was, and as the plane touched down the speaker system started playing carolina and i laughed into my pillow because i really don't like carolina one bit but it still means something, you know. six months on, i think i'm starting to realize what it meant. * on my last night in milan, the night before i moved to london, i walked around the empty (and rainy! what an omen!) streets of the old city center listening to sweet disposition and wondering what the future would bring -wondering if i was making the right choice, how long it would take before i crashed and burned. it meant a lot to me in 2013, that

URL analysis for annamyers.co.uk

https://www.annamyers.co.uk/home/2018/8/25/tuscany-2018
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/blog/
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?author=59d6a7615ce350221c82d6cb
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?tag=rebuild
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?tag=home+life
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/published
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?tag=figuring+it+out
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?tag=hampstead
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/home/2018/4/25/qrowumfrqmqb7meu77fhx5aw9uaqc4
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?offset=1518742354411
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/home/blue-nights
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/voice
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/?tag=la+la+land
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/home/cette-vie
https://www.annamyers.co.uk/home/start-over-vol-ii

Whois Information

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Domain name:
annamyers.co.uk

Data validation:
Nominet was not able to match the registrant's name and/or address against a 3rd party source on 11-Jan-2018

Registrar:
Register.com Inc t/a Network Solutions [Tag = NSI-US]
URL: http://www.networksolutions.com

Relevant dates:
Registered on: 12-Oct-2015
Expiry date: 12-Oct-2020
Last updated: 11-Jan-2018

Registration status:
Registered until expiry date.

Name servers:
ns4.wixdns.net
ns5.wixdns.net

WHOIS lookup made at 10:57:47 29-Aug-2018

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  REFERRER http://www.nominet.org.uk

  REGISTRAR Nominet UK

SERVERS

  SERVER co.uk.whois-servers.net

  ARGS annamyers.co.uk

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

SPONSOR
Register.com Inc t/a Network Solutions [Tag = NSI-US]
URL: http://www.networksolutions.com
Relevant dates:

  CREATED 12-Oct-2015

  CHANGED 11-Jan-2018

STATUS
Registered until expiry date.

NSERVER

  NS4.WIXDNS.NET 216.239.36.101

  NS5.WIXDNS.NET 216.239.38.101

  NAME annamyers.co.uk

DISCLAIMER
This WHOIS information is provided for free by Nominet UK the central registry
for .uk domain names. This information and the .uk WHOIS are:
Copyright Nominet UK 1996 - 2018.
You may not access the .uk WHOIS or use any data from it except as permitted
by the terms of use available in full at https://www.nominet.uk/whoisterms,
which includes restrictions on: (A) use of the data for advertising, or its
repackaging, recompilation, redistribution or reuse (B) obscuring, removing
or hiding any or all of this notice and (C) exceeding query rate or volume
limits. The data is provided on an 'as-is' basis and may lag behind the
register. Access may be withdrawn or restricted at any time.

  REGISTERED no

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